What if the Life I am waiting on is being consumed by the act of waiting on it?

What if the life I am waiting on is being consumed by the act of waiting on it?

For all my life, I have wondered my purpose. My reasoning for being on this earth. I’ve gone through stages of life that nobody, especially not someone my age, should ever go through. I have been through the wreckages of life with all their might. I’ve lost my friends, my loved ones but I also lost myself along the way. Who am I?

I search in the Library of ‘what ifs’. I see stories where I win the lottery and I live wealthy before dying peacefully. Or when I become a movie star and live the glamourous life before I inevitably take my own because I can’t handle the spotlight. I look around for many days. Long hours reading, searching, trying to find the true meaning of my life.

I see a librarian nearby and I ask for the book of my real life. The way it is meant to be. She ignored me. I asked again and again until she eventually fell short with me. ‘It’s the only book that isn’t on these shelves’. I awaited for the follow up. Why? ‘Before you can read your book, you need to accept you are living it’.

Accepting that things are the way they are.

Our life has been decided for us. We live and then we die. We are an unavoidable ending. One day, our day will come and within a split second, we will take our last and final breath. However, what we do between life and death is our choice. Our contribution to ourselves. It’s like we have been rewarded with a choice of decisions; our trophies for simply staying alive.

One thing you will learn from reading this is not every trophy is rewarding. Some of the decisions that we will make throughout our lives will cause pain. Not only to us but sometimes to the people we choose to surround ourselves with. We are humans. We all have the privilege of going through heartbreak at least once in our lives. Not one single person in this world lives the perfect life no matter how happy they seem. No one knows what happens behind closed doors. We’re on a roller coaster; we’ve got ups and downs and sometimes loops. But in the end, we always make our way back to where the cycle starts again. The cycle called life.